How to be More Popular

Anonymous (not verified) June 15, 2020 - 1:00am

By John Bailey

I was honored to be a part of the South Eastern Division weekend held at our National Center in Baltimore in early August. It was great to catch up with old friends and make lots of new ones.

One of the activities during the weekend I particularly found interesting was the breakout session where the students talked about the challenges they were facing and the ensuing conversations about how to resolve them.

One particular conversation that really caught my attention was where a student shared how hard it was to make friends and how challenging it was to get more socially active. This desire was shared by lots of their peers.

The problem sounded very familiar because this was the same challenge I had growing up vision impaired. It was tough being a part of the sighted community because you were not like them And, I didn’t know anyone else who was blind. It felt pretty lonely at times.

That all changed when I entered college. I met up with fellow students who really seemed to have it all together. They were interesting, popular, and were always being invited to parties and other social events. Two of them were my roommates and they were the Student President and Vice President. By watching them and following their examples, I was soon able to greatly improved my social situation.

The people I emulated were masters at being popular and here are the five actions they took that made them be people you wanted to hang out with.

Act Confident.

I have heard the phrase, “Confidence is sexy” many times and it is true. Even if you don’t look like a movie star or wear the latest clothes, being confident overcomes all that and more. But, how do you act confident if you don’t feel it? The answer is simple and with practice, people will begin to perceive you as self assured.

I said “act” confident on purpose. The first step in becoming more confident is by pretending you are. Act as if you felt cool calm and collected even if you don’t feel it. This will become easier over time because of all the positive feedback you will be getting from your new friends.

Listen more than talk

Every one wants to feel that they have something to say and you listening to them makes them feel good. And, that is what making friends is all about. When talking to others, spend most of your time listening. People will like you a lot more because you care enough to hear their thoughts.

Give and give some more

Friends help each other. So, don’t be stingy with your assistance. Make an effort to do something nice for every person you meet. Again, if you show interest in them, they will show interest in you.

Be the party!

Don’t wait to be invited to parties, host your own event and invite others. You know how being invited to something makes you feel special. What if you were hosting a party and made others feel special by inviting them. Making others feel special makes you special too.

Remember to smile

Because this is last on the list doesn’t make it any less important. When you smile, others will smile too. There is scientific research that shows that when you smile at someone, a part of their brain fires and they get good feelings about you. Smiling also communicates that you like them. People want to be liked. Smile while you are spending time with people and they will want to spend more time with you.

Wanting to be more socially accepted isn’t just a “blind problem”. It is a part of human nature to be liked and to have lots of friends. The actions I talked about will work for anyone who wants to better connect with others.

The bottom line to making friends is to make them feel special. If you make it a practice to be a better listener, be there if they need help, or just inviting them to an event, you will soon find yourself with lots more friends and much more satisfying relationships.


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